Gene Amondson's
Why I need a wife Before Winter

Well, let's see if I can say why I want a wife before....

I was wonderfully married for 23 years, my wife forgot to tell me it was terrible!

They talk about how great being single is, the closest thing I have had to a backrub in the last ten years is when the washing machine gets off center, and shakes that end of the house.

The last form I filled out asked about pets, I put down fruit flys.

I was so lonely last year, I put out a sign in front of my house that said: Jehovah Witnesses and Mormans Welcome.

When I get a glass off the counter and it sticks, I know that is God's way of telling me I need a wife!

I even went on Oprah to find a wife!